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Saturday, 01 January 2011

Sunday, 14 November 2010

  • Ego Death

    I lost part of myself this past weekend and maybe it is for the best. I feel like experienced a mild ego death. It was nothing serious, I just came to a realization and feel like a part of me died. I have been torturing myself by holding on to feelings hoping that something good may come of it, but in the end just making myself really depressed all the time.

    Maybe I lost more than that. I don't feel like I used to and I don't know if I like it. I've become a stronger person in what I believe in and I have also become extremely impatient and intolerant of others. Maybe it is called for with what I deal with. My roommate comes in drunk with a group of people, completely ignoring the fact that I'm sleeping or trying to sleep. I normally can deal with that, its just the fact that they are loud and obnoxious. I know this because I can hear them over noise canceling head phones...

    After this past weekend, I really don't know what to feel. I have really changed and probably for the worst in most of my friends eyes. Could it be because I'm not blind by what society tries to teach us?

Sunday, 19 September 2010

  • Every step I take I feel like I get further behind and closer to my goal...

    Everybody grows up and changes. People change and become interested in different things, some find passion for music, some find that passion in art, others find it in sports, and some are content without any passion at all. College is a time where some of the biggest change happens and the experiences that you go through can shape your life.

    I have changed from who I was in high school. I hate some aspects of the new me and love other parts. I love my new friends, yet I really miss my old best friends from high school. I get sad when my old friends do big group things and I just feel forgotten about. I try to keep in touch, but it never seems to work because everyone is busy with their new life. Should I keep holding on or just let go? I feel bad when I see people from high school and they still have that love for music and still think I have it too. Don't get me wrong, I support them 150%, I just don't have that love anymore.

    I'm glad that I am growing and changing. I've truly become an individual and I'm not just one in the crowd (not a bad thing, just not my style). I just wish other people could grow up and be open to new ideas. I wish some people would realize that I enjoy doing things outside of just video games, yes I enjoy playing them, but I'm not the competitive gamer I used to be. I get another step closer to my goal every time I can get out and train, yet at the same time I feel like I am taking another step away from some of the people I care about the most...

    Feel free to post your thoughts.

Thursday, 16 September 2010

  • You never had your heart in it...

    *Forgive me for this is quite old, I just needed to post it*

    You never had your heart in it even when you told me you liked me...you were still holding on...

    I gave you everything I had and things still blew up in my face. Sure I'm a fool for holding on until the last minute and letting my feelings get the best of me. You didn't help by telling me that you liked me and that you cared.

    You act like everything is fine and back to normal...did I not have any impact on you? Why am I so hung up over you? I'm so stressed out that my body hurts and I'm constantly uncomfortable.

    I don't care if you see this and I don't know where I stand with you. You are dead to me...you may have had your reasons, but you still lied to me in my eyes. You were the best and you were the worst because you hurt me the most. I went out of my way for you and you couldn't even keep a simple promise of seeing me when you said you would. You are so unreliable and immature, I don't really see why I fell for you...

Saturday, 14 August 2010

  • Currently
    The World Outside
    By Eyes Set to Kill
    Hourglass
    see related

    I'm a ticking time bomb about to expload

    Why me... seriously? Why am I the one that has dating issues? I find the most amazing girl and its only a temporary fix and not even that somedays...

    Things were going so well and were drama free for a while and then I have one slip up and then I get shit on (not literally). I was just playing around and left a few red marks on Megans neck and then the next thing I know, her dumb bitch ass ex boyfriend is starting shit with me. I can normally take name calling, but when you start fucking attacking my race and tell me to go back to asia, expect a fight. The only funny thing is that he doesn't even know the right slang things to call me because Im not a fucking chink...

    I hope I see him again when I'm by myself so I have nobody there to hold me back...

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kbutto424

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    • Member Since: 6/7/2009

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